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Sometimes I felt angry, sometimes I felt sad, but sometimes I had a strange feeling of satisfaction because I was impregnated by a white man. My baby will have more status after she or he is born. Strangely even though I was betrayed, I feel joyful deep inside down. I have provided my baby with better sustenance than I ever could. I have accomplished my mission as a woman. Maybe after my child is born he or she will look for his or her biological father, or maybe he or she will think his or her mother behaved like a total slut, or perhaps even hate me, but as long as he or she will live a better life than I, I will be content.My student visa expires by the end of this year, so the most likely thing to happen now is I go back to China. I wish I could stay in America.6/6/2012 I am so embarrassed. Whenever I think about it I start to cry still. The boyfriend I had in college loved to have anal sex, and he had a very thick and long penis, so every time he penetrated me anally my. The concussive pulse that follows knocks me back down into my puddle of lukewarm vomit.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Duuuuude, I dig the Knight Rider look,” a pimple-faced cashier tells me, giving my ‘new’ Thrift-Heaven ensemble a once over. “Hey, Jenny. Doesn’t he look like The Hoff from Knight Rider? Even picked out that leather jacket I had my eye on.”A plain jane with a messy red ponytail looks up from her stooled perch, rolls her eyes, and goes back to blowing gum bubbles while she paints her nails virgin white.Undeterred, pimple-face continues. “Seriously, man. You should go on that Evil Twins Look-A-Like show. The one on ABC? You’d kill it. That scars are wicked. Like Murdoc in MacGyver. But maybe grow the hair out and get one of those Trans Ams and…”Untethered by fatigue and frustration, I snap. I yank pimple-faced, nametag Steve, forward by his clip-on tie.“Listen here, fuckface,” I growl. “The nineties are bad enough..
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